A Delay

It's been forever since I've blogged. For one thing I'm working on combining the two blogs -- more on that later -- and for another I'm trying to spend as much time with Carly as possible since I go back to work in 7 days. SEVEN DAYS!. PLUS - blogging with a unpredictable infant is ..well...unpredictable.

Trying To Smile

MVI_7521
Originally uploaded by Jessiedc22

Here is a video of Carly trying to smile. She gets a few small ones in but not the big WHOLE FACE SMILE. I'll have to work on her some more for that one. During the video I use my high pitched voice to get her to do it. Don't laugh!

Barf

So.....Carly woke up for a feeding at 330am last night. I pulled her out of her bassinet and put her in bed with me and nursed her lying down like the good nurses at the hospital taught me to do. We eventually fell back to sleep together until 530am when I woke up to Carly's little whimper. As I turned to face her to see what was up she barfed in my face. Projectile barf that is. 1, 2, 3 shots of barf on to me & the bed. I wigged! I've never had someone barf in my face before. I've never witnessed projectile barfing before. Shocked I got up and rallied Eric to help change the sheets while I cleaned Carly up and I got in the shower. No fun. And the thing that gets me is that there just seems to be no reason behind the violent toss of her cookies. She's fine today. She had no fever. She's eaten 3 times since and hasn't been ill. What was that?

I knew it....

but keeping up with 2 blogs has become impossible. Keeping up with one blog and one baby is just about impossible. So we're consolidating. We're officially combining our marriage blog with our baby blog and making it one FANTASTIC blog! So stay tuned here if you want to know what is going on with us! We look forward to sharing our baby info AND our house/life info!

The Best Birthday Present

I just put Carly down for a nap. Lets see how long she stays down (out of my arms, in her crib, alone) before she starts to cry for me. Hope I can get through this post!

So, today is my 32nd birthday. 32. Wow. Seriously. I'm "fat and happy" which is a great thing to be. I spent the morning kissing my baby girl all over her perfectly shaped head. I even took a few minutes to imagine her at the age of 17 before quickly balling that thought up and throwing it away because it SCARED ME! I'll take my 6 week old baby for now, thank you. When she's 17 and I'm 49 I'm not sure I'll be wanting to kiss her head much less be in the same room with her. =)

I did think about all the things I want her to grow up to be though. (This is just the beginning of my list. It does not include the obvious things like: healthy, kind, safe....etc.)

I want her to grow up to be a good fearless bossy older sister like I am.
I want her to have a good sense of humor like Eric.
I want her to say no to drugs.
I want her to be celibate until she's in her 30s...no 50s.
I want her to try her hardest in school...not just SAY she's trying like Eric and I did.
I want her to drive the speed limit at all times.
I want her to never dye her hair, pierce her body parts or tattoo any part of her that Eric and I created.
I want her to learn to speak a 2nd language.
I want her to love me more that anyone else on the planet - FOREVER.
I want her to obey her mother and her father until the day we both die.

Is that too much to ask?

Kidorable Rain Coat

My Aunt Joan, Uncle Dennis and Aunt Jeannie got Carly this coat and boots as a gift. They are SO CUTE! I can't wait until she can wear them. It's a 2T and by then our little one is going to have so much personality that I'm 100% sure will go with this coat. So yummy! I just love it.

Bye-Bye Grandma

Today my Mom left for Portugal on vacation. While I'm excited for her I can't help but admit that I'm sad for me and Carly. Mom will be gone for 8 days and we'll miss her being around! It's been so special to hang around with her so much since Carly's been born. She's been so much fun to have around. Not just because she's so helpful -- just having her near makes me feel comfortable and at ease. I've always been an independant person. I've never been the "I want my Mommy" type, but since the birth of my first child I am certainly more attached to my Mom! Funny, eh?

Anyway -- I know she'll have fun in Portugal but she will be missed!

Waking Baby

MVI_7502
Originally uploaded by Jessiedc22

This is Carly waking up this morning. This is my favorite time. She looks so cute with her sleepy face. It's warm and soft and puffy. This video makes me want to reach through the computer screen and plant a big kiss right on her chubby little cheek.

Lizzy's Visit

"Carly, look what Mommy can do"

Today Mom and I went out for a bit with Carly. We got some breakfast at Panera and then we stopped at TJ Max. I thought I'd just TRY to put on real jeans. I knew I wasn't going to be the svelt size 12 that I once was but I was ready to wear jeans again! You know, the real ones without the elastic waist. So we gathered about 9 pair of jeans and huffed it to the dressing room. I tried on the first pair of 14s and WOW they fit.

So pumped was I!!! I leaned over to my little monkey and I said, "Carly, look what Mommy can do! Button, Zip, Button, Zip, Button, Zip!"

Sweet!

Yay for us

We've had 2 really good days. Lost of on-schedule eating and lots of nice sleeping. Mommy feels rejuvenated and baby must feel better --and I know that because her mood is better. The bedtime is still midnight but that's because she eats at midnight...so I'm not sure how to curve that ... we are up earlier though. Yesterday was 7a.m. and today was 9:30am. Both night she was asleep at midnight. Maybe that's because we're up until midnight?

Stop!

All this over analyzing is giving me a head ache. We'll just have to take it day by day to see how it works out. For now -- I'm basking in the glory of having a mostly happy infant. =)

A "Do Over"

Taking care of your own newborn is one of the hardest yet wonderful things I've ever done, to say the least. It's something that you can't train for yet so much energy is required for it. Last night I was at a breaking point. I cried and I felt hopeless but I pushed through and today I feel renewed. Carly and I made a secret pact - a "Do Over". Today begins our NEW plan.

One of the hardest parts of Motherhood for me right now is the disorganization. I'm very used to having things organized. I know where things are, how to get to them, when things are happening, why, why not, and how to avoid most pitfalls. After all, that is a what I do for a living. Holly and I have a saying, "I Plan Shit". That's me. That WAS me. Now that I've got Carly my saying is, "Shit! Where's my plan???"

Scheduling - newborns don't have SCHEDULES. They just are who they are and need what they need when they need it. That's fine but keeping up with their heavy demands can be a challenge on little sleep.

Sleep - it's rare, not taken all at once but instead in little blips throughout the day, and when you're sleeping your not really sleeping. You're sleeping with one eye open. Lack of sleep = cranky Mommy

Personal Time - None. I'm not sure about you but I can't go #2 when someone is wailing in the next room. So being able to do the tiniest of things alone is always up in the air. This would of course not be a problem if I could schedule my #2s but I cannot (see "Scheduling")

Spouse Time - Again, not something you can plan. You begin to have Mommy & Daddy time and inevitably the baby cries. Or the baby is fine all day but chooses to cry from the time that Daddy walks in the door until the time that Daddy had to go to bed. Which brings me to guilt...

Guilt - This I feel several times a week, particularly when Carly has a bad day. While I know that having a child was a mutual agreement between Eric and I - I also know that Eric needed a lot of coaxing. He loves Carly, that's not the issue, but this newborn phase is not his favorite. I can't help but feel like on some level he resents me for having gotten him in to this in the first place. Has he said that? No. But do I think he's thankful he gets to go to work every day instead of stay home with an unpredictable crying little stinker? Yes. Shoot! I wish I could go to work some days! The good news is that Eric continues to promise me that he's doesn't hate me for getting him in to this mess and that he knows that we'll get through this tough time together. He has also very generously asked me several times if I want him to get a vasectomy. LOL

Joy - With all these challenges there is also an incredible sense of joy in being a parent. I would not want to live without my little cranky monster monkey. She's the fruit of my womb. She's healthy and adorable. I could kiss her soft cheeks until my lips went raw. Not only that, she smells good and she looks REALLY cute in pink. But sometimes you just need a "Do Over"

THE "DO-OVER"

We're having a "do-over" day! I've got to try and get some control over life. Carly and I are starting a new plan! We wake up at 7a.m. instead of 11a.m. From now on, I'm going to be much more vigilant about watching the clock. She eats a full meal and then she has to wait 2.5 to 3 hours to eat again. (No more mid-meal snacking to lull her cries -- it's just not good for any of us!) She takes a few mid-day naps and I nap with her. This, hopefully, will get her bedtime down from midnight to 10pm (ish). During the day she'll get a bath, we'll walk, maybe run 1 errand, and pick up the house a little. I'm going to work on being more conscious about the foods I eat so I'm not loading her up with spicy, gassy foods.

So far it's worked. I feel good and refreshed. She's had a great day -- no crazy crying for no reason. She's napping now and I've got a little me-time but I'm going to lay down in a few minutes.

Sometimes you just need a "Do Over" dammit!

Massage

I had my first massage since Carly was born. It was great! I also had one of my first expiriences leaving Carly with someone (Holly) while also leaving the compound long enough for her to need a bottle. On one hand it was great, and freeing, but on the other hand it felt strange to leave her behind. Holly was good to me though and sent me a few pictures of Carly playing happily which helped.

The massage was great and much needed. It was firmer than I usually like but I figured my body probably needed the work out after pregnancy, labor and carrying around a nice sized baby for 4 weeks. Next time I think I'll ask for someone who isn't trying to leave bruises though.

The whole time I was getting massaged I couldn't help but think about how both my boobs hurt. Yep. And I'm not sure why. They are empty, as far as I can tell, and they hurt. I haven't been very good about taking my antibiotics and I'm scared that now I have the beginnings of mastitis in both sides. Ugh. Normally I'm the champion pill taker but as I'm sure you know (or can at least imagine) my life is a bit disorganized at the moment. My days and nights are confused and I'm just not in a routine. I also have a raging head ache that I can't seem to control with tylenol, not even the super Tylenol 3 they gave me at the hospital. What's that about? Dehydration? I've had lots of water.